Inner Adventures | Embrace an Inner Adventure Today!

Warning: When I began writing this I had no plan, as it is with all my writing, I start typing and it evolves.  So here tis …

Well where do I start with this one?  When I reflect on turning 40 I like to look at it in chunks of decades, bite sized pieces, that way it is not so overwhelming, 40 after all is a big number – to my kids anyway.  To my folks, I’m a spring chicken, to my ‘older’ friends – girlfriend, you’re life has just begun! – I like that one!

So here we go, an ever so condensed version – a snap shot if you will – of the last 40, in chunks of 10.

0-10 The early years

Much of my early childhood was spent in New Zealand, to which I have very fond memories.  Dad was an entertainer so there were always people coming and going, lots of singing, parties, happy happy times.  At the age of 7 the six of us up and left for bigger and better things in Australia – mainly for dad to pursue his singing career.  Things did not turn out the way he had hoped and he chose a career that would put him on a completely different course, and we felt it.  That’s a story for another time.   So starting school in Sydney, Australia and making friends was easy, fun and we loved it here.

11-20 The teenage ikky years

In a word – yuk !  I hated high school and I left as soon as I could!  So much was happening in the family at this time.  I absorbed a lot.  I was the youngest of 4.  My first job was at the tender age of 15 as a legal secretary for one of the largest law firms in Australia.  Daunting to say the least but I loved the fact that I was out in the big wide world and I was finally a “grown up”.  I hung with the older crowd, went to pubs, clubs, and I partied hard.  You could say I tried everything that was on offer.  And then I fell in LoVe – it was to be the first of many!

21-30 Early 20′s

My first love I will never forget and we are still in contact today. Our breakup was devastating, as are all first time breakups.  I then got involved in a very dysfunctional relationship that would lead me to Perth at the age of 23.  It was a turning point indeed – a spiritual awakening.  At age 24 I was to meet up again with my future husband, 11 years my senior and the father of my children.  It was a rocky road to the alter but we were very much in love and we produced two gorgeous children.  How lucky were we.  I had the stable job, the stable marriage, the house, the two kids.  I was set – for a while at least.  When I gave birth to my first child at 29 … everything changed!

31-39 My Mid 30′s

At 34 I left my husband.  We had grown apart.  I was traveling the spiritual road solo.  It was a very difficult time in my life, one of huge transition.  It would take me on a journey of true self-discovery that would open my world to so much more than what I was existing in.  It took courage to leave the safety and security that I so desired at the time, but to stay was to deny myself the life I knew I was destined to lead.  I felt very alone in the world at this time, a single mum, I lost friends, I had to support myself, I lived in a town  that I never felt at home in, I had to find new accommodation –  it was a lot to deal with all at once.  I longed for deeper spiritual connection.  Of course what the soul desires, the soul gets.  So after a year of being on my own I started to date again.  And so began a series of relationships where I found myself attracting men who were quite lost and I was there to help them get through their ‘rough patch’ – my giving nature knew no boundaries.  A pattern was forming.  I am but a slow learner it seems, or I was oblivious to the obviousness of it all.  I am planning to write a book shortly entitled “Relationship #103 – What I learned about myself THIS time around“.   I have learned a great deal about myself through my relationships, not only through the intimate but through my friendships.  During this period I experienced incredible highs, and some equally incredible lows as I have fumbled my way through life, learning much on the way, in a state of confusion for most of it.  On my 39th birthday I attended a silent retreat, Vipassana, in the Blue Mountains.  After a defining year in 2009, I was again searching for the answer to my existence and wanting some peace within.  What the heck was my purpose, my calling, my service?  I was dazed and confused about life, love, the whole kit caboodle.  I was calling out for help … and I got it.  Byron Bay here I come and out of my healing (another story in itself) and inner search … Inner Adventures was born.

YaY you reached 40!

On February 20, I turned 40.  I can’t say I was excited, in fact I think I was quite depressed leading up to it.  I had found myself in another relationship where I took on the role of  helping someone get through their ‘poop’ – I’m seriously considering charging for this service!  My life’s lesson was staring me in the face again, it was a gift, a beautiful one at that.  I was also still at the crossroads in terms of my life direction.  The only thing I was clear about was I loved developing Inner Adventures and connecting with fabulous souls all over the world, I wanted to make a difference and I love to communicate.  I felt like I SHOULD have it all sussed by now (whatever ‘it all’ is?), that I SHOULD have learned from my past and not still be making the same mistakes.  Of course we all know that they are not mistakes, they are just more  lessons to learn, at a deeper level but damn it’s annoying when they keep coming back!   I am a driven person,  enthusiastic and positive about life,  someone who has ants in their pants.  I can’t keep still and I don’t stay down for long.  I was asking the universe for some answers at this time, some wisdom, some insight, a frick’n sign would be great dude!  “Patience” – was usually the only answer that would be forthcoming … ahhhh my achilles heal!  So two things have come from this ‘leading up to 40′ experience.  I must master discernment and patience – once and for all!

I don’t think I look too bad for a woman hitting 40. I’m physically fit and healthy.  I have two gorgeous kids who breath life into my existence and I hope I do the same for them.  Unconditional love – it’s magic.  My passion for life, people and all that I get involved in is at times overwhelming for those who choose to walk beside me.  I feel deeply, I am intense, I am passionate.  With all this, the ups and downs, the round and rounds and the questions, I have to say I feel like one of the most blessed individuals on this planet.  I have the most supportive network of friends anyone could ever wish for.  The love and support I receive via my connections through my website, my previous business, those chance meetings with those I was just SO meant to meet, are pure GOLD.  I am grateful to each and everyone of you – thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Turning 40 – In a nutshell

Well, life is pretty bloody good, never dull nor boring that’s for sure.  I may as well shrivel up and croak if that was the case.  I have had an eclectic 40 years on this planet – you could say I have most definitely LIVED life already, and it hasn’t really begun.  I have come to realise as I get older that as a woman I am feeling more ’rounded’ for want of a better word.  More whole, self assured and stronger (I’m sure my sisters out there in their 40′s and beyond are nodding their heads in agreement).  I have a lot of LoVe in my heart and so much LoVe surrounding me – I need to remember and be grateful for what I do have, instead of look at what I don’t!

I am blessed with two gorgeous children, great friends, a loving family and my health.  I have created a website that is attracting the most beautiful souls from around the world and it brings me such JOY.  If this is 40, then what the hell was I depressed about?!  I’m LoVe’n it !  I’m just so pumped about the next 40 – I’m sure it’s going to be a hell of a ride !!!  Bring it on … oh, and ever so gently please

I’d like to end this blog with one of my favourite quotes of all time:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave

with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in sideways,

Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other,

body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming…..

WOO HOO…. What a RIDE!”

Jay Del Ray – Creator, Inner Adventures